Day 4 since Internet has been shut off:
Life is bleak. When I’m home, shut off from the world with no cell phone or internet to flee to, I sit. I watch tv, but I’m not really watching. Just letting the images flash in front of me, trying to trick my brain into believing it’s being productive. Without contact with the outside world I’ve found myself showing frightening signs of insanity. I have become inclined to make random to-do lists. For the next day, the next hour, the next minute… scheduling every moment of my life. Without my technology, my free spirit is succumbing to structure and balance, something I am not familiar with. Routine is settling in. The first day was torture, I physically ached for social networking. I had to find other things to occupy my mind. It didn’t help that this all happened on a weekend. The second day, I decided I needed to stop moping and come out of my depression. I made a to-do list scheduling shopping trips, a photoshoot, and a dinner I could make myself. I went to sleep ready to follow my own instructions when I woke. To my surprise, when the whoreish light snuck through my broken blinds, forcing me to wake, I had a whole new idea about the day. It was like I awoke to a transformed plan. I turned on loud music, and scrubbed my house top to bottom- it was spottless. I did go shopping, but when I was through I did not do a photoshoot, and I ate an entirely different dinner.
Since then, I have been meticulously cleaning my apartment.
Things are looking up, I am begining to live within myself rather than with constant contact with others. I had wanted to achieve this for a long time, and it appears the universe in it’s ultimate wisdom gave me a push.
Deliberate trips to internet-accessable places since internet shut-off: 4.
I love you, internet. Come back to me soon.
in the meantime, I have bought and checked out numerous books, and have been reading a LOT. which isn’t bad :)
OK library time is up… bye!
